Monday's Music

These two songs are in consideration of the death that my wife's family suffered this Monday. I don't really know if they are appropriate or not, but when I thought of this, they seemed to fit. If you listen with that in mind, I think that you will see (hear) the connection as well. If you don't - well, enjoy this week's songs just the same.

I will blog more about the quick trip that we made as the week goes on.





love,
me

Nimrod - population 74

Sunday night my wife called her dad to wish him a Happy Easter. We have new cell phones so he wasn't able to call her that morning when the doctor told him that he needed to start calling the family because his wife, a completely addicted chain-smoker who has been battling lung cancer for some time, was admitted to the hospital where she was told that she would die within a day.
So, "Happy Easter, Dad. How are things up there? ...."

We got in the car about 9:00pm Sunday night and made the 1000 mile drive across a third of the United States to be there Monday. We crossed the border into Minnesota about 8am and called her dad to say good morning and to see how they had been that night. Jackie, his wife, had passed away just minutes before. He was hurt - Becky could hear it in his voice. We were still several hours away from his farm which is in the norther part of Minnesota. I wondered if we had driven all that way for nothing. Why did we get in the car after hurriedly packing and sending half apologetic emails to work to let them know that we wouldn't be there the next day? What did we go up there for, now that Jackie had passed away?

In part, these are perfectly rhetorical questions; but on the other hand - I don't know where the frantic impulsiveness comes from that makes my wife do insane things for her family. I just don't feel like she does. And that is part of the reason why I fell in love with her.
The answer to the questions is - we didn't go up there for the dead, we went up there for the living. We went up there for her Dad, who was about to be very alone. But we didn't just go for him. He told us in an emotional moment just before we turned around and came home on Tuesday afternoon, that he told Jackie that night that we were on our way to see them (him and her) and she smiled. It was probably a small thing but it seemed to comfort her and it certainly comforted him knowing that she was a little happier at the end of her life - happier because of my wife's impulsive insanity. We went up there for the living, and may she rest in peace.

Below are a few photos from that afternoon. This is a huge part of why we went up there - can you believe that these are all photos of a man whose wife died only hours earlier? Maybe the real painful part comes later, when the house is too silent and the shadows all belong to one person.

I didn't crop any of these photos, but if you click on them you will be able to see a GRANDPA'S smile, not a recent widower's grief.







This is why we went up there - more than 30 hours in the car (round trip) to spend less than 24 hours there.

Away from home

There was a death in my wife's family Monday morning. We've been out of town (even this is a post from my phone).
I'll be back tonight - lots to post. Monday's Music will be up tomorrow, I have lots of photos, I will tell you all about speeding tickets, dinner near Dubuque, and breakfast in Tom Sawyer's home town.
~2000 miles in two days.

Blood of Christ

- the dogwood, not the dogma.



I love Easter, I love the springtime, I love that this whole season is representative of forgiveness and rebirth. I love that most of Western culture takes this time to make a special remembrance of the resurrection and the teachings of Christ in the spring (sorry Southern Hemisphere). But like many of my posts, this is a post about flowers and not crowns of thorns.

Read this explanation of the dogwood tree taken from birdshooter:

Legend of the Dogwood Tree
As legend has it, the cross on which Jesus was crucified was made from a dogwood tree. God decreed that the dogwood tree would from that day forth never grow large enough to be used to make a cross. Thus the dogwood tree is a small, under story tree. The flower of the dogwood has four petals which makes the shape of a cross. The center of the flower resembles the crown of thorns with bright red cluster of fruit in the center representing the blood of Christ. The dogwood blooms in April when Easter Sunday marks the resurrection of Christ after the Crucifixion.

And here are some Blood of Christ photos that I took on campus this week (with my phone):



Happy Easter everybody!!

Keepin' it real

I think that just keeping a record, about HERE - about my home life, helps me keep it real here. I am happy with my goal to find positive things about my home life each week. Even though I have not kept a 'travel log' here, I think that it is a good new direction to start moving in.

El grafógrafo

Salvador Elizondo (1932 - 2006)

Escribo. Escribo que escribo. Mentalmente me veo escribir que escribo y también puedo verme ver que escribo. Me recuerdo escribiendo ya y también viéndome que escribía. Y me veo recordando que me veo escribir y me recuerdo viéndome recordar que escribía y escribo viéndome escribir que recuerdo haberme visto escribir que me veía escribir que recordaba haberme visto escribir que escribía y que escribía que escribo que escribía. También puedo imaginarme escribiendo que ya había escrito que me imaginaría escribiendo que había escrito que me imaginaba escribiendo que me veo escribir que escribo.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I write. I write that I write. Mentally I see myself writing that I write and I can also see myself that I write. I remember myself writing now and also seeing that I wrote. And I see myself remembering that I see me write and I remember myself seeing me write that I saw me write that I remembered seeing myself write that I wrote and that I wrote that I write that I wrote. I can also imagine myself writing that I had already wrote that I would imagine myself writing that I had written that I imagined myself writing that I see me writing that I write.

Just outside my office

These aren't the greatest photos, but I will try to get some more later. These are really misreable bushes except for this time of year. Right now, they are good.

... be anything but happy....

• life is too short
• be anything but happy

me

Let's Make Platanos Fritos

Monday's Music

This was actually the song that I had intended to post three weeks ago when I missed the Monday's Music post altogether. I really like this song. It is just right in so many ways. It really touches me. When this came out several years ago, I actually liked it so much that I rushed out and bought the album - which is pretty unusual for me. It was also unfortunate. I should have bought the single. As much as I liked this song, I didn't like any of the other songs on the album.

Seal - Love's Divine


me

Tulips post counterpart

This one is for the men. The actual commercial can be found HERE, but I couldn't find a way to embed it directly. However, it is also in the following short piece (which is pretty funny in its own right).

At the Park

Okay, this entry has several photos. I am including ten attached photos that I like a lot and at the bottom I have embedded a slide show with several more photos from the same outing that I made with Becky and Gabe this weekend to Village Creek State Park.
I am trying to turn over a new leaf. It is spring time so it is a good time to turn new leaves over. I am making an effort to be more honest, more positive, to live more in the present (that was my New Year's Resolution), and to work more on my personal relationships - especially the relationships that I have here in my home. Really, I blame my friends for this. I have some good friends (who will remain anonymous here) who have encouraged me in different ways to open things up here a little more - to include a little more information about my family and to put more work into my family relationships. Thank you, friends! What would I do without you?
I think that a big part of our perception of the past - even of the immediate past (something we often confuse with the present) - depends on the records that we keep: journal entries, photos, blogs, etc. Every memory fades, so the types of records that we keep have a very powerful effect on determining what we remember and how we remember things. Therefore, my goal here is to find positive things to report each week as I work on being a better husband and a better father. And if I can't find positive things to report I am going to create positive things to report every week by really working on loving the people I live with. One other important element - and you can help keep me honest on this one: no complaining in the record keeping about my family. It does no good to report postive things that are laced with poison. Again, memory is as much perception as reality and it is up to us to sell our own propaganda - to create our own perception. I am starting here and moving forward.

So here is my first report: I have really been trying to be here for my family this weekend. Friday, I went to the movies with Becky and Gabe. We saw Monsters versus Aliens in 3D. It was AWESOME. I have never seen a movie like that in 3D. I had a really good time. I don't think that I would have enjoyed it nearly as much in 2D though.

Yesterday, after sitting in the house far too long, we finally got out and went to a nearby state park that has streams, a lake, woods. We hiked a short trail. Gabe had a a great time. That is what all the photos here are about. I will share a little more in the explanation of the photos, but mostly I will let the photos tell our story.

Last night, Becky got a babysitter and we met some of my co-workers at a restaurant for happy hour. We all had dinner. They all had drinks. I think that everybody enjoyed themselves, but I don't think that I can say the same for the people at the table right next to ours. I work in the foriegn language department at the University and the conversation at my table last night was, for the most part, loud and littered with bad words as it flowed freely between English, Spanish, and French. Perhaps it is cultural, but if I had to judge anything based on the conversation last night, I would say that French is just a louder language than the other two languages. One of the women I work with who teaches French, who is typically super quiet at work, really let her hair down. Anyway, that is enough about that. It was a good time.

Back to the state park now. It was really the part of the weekend that I enjoyed the most.

I love this photo. I like flowers a lot, but what I really love about this photo is the flower that is still all wrapped up.

I don't think that I could get away without including a comment about these. Gabe saw these things and started calling them "crickeries" and then he decided that it was his job to sweep them all off the trail. He is a lot of fun.

Here comes Gabe, with a flower for his dad!

I LOVE this photo! I took three that are all a little different, so this might be something to look for in the slide show at the bottom. I don't know why I like this sort of thing so much; to me, it just says "forest".
This is my current desktop background. It is simple, and I really like the balance of the rock and the leaf. (The leaf is far enough in from the corner that it isn't hidden by my sidebar or my taskbar).
I was having fun with the macro setting here. I am not sure that I really like the outcome - it made the part of the trunk that is in focus look really, really flat. But it is a fun shot, just the same.

I was trying to get Gabe in focus from behind a tree that was not in foucs in the foreground, and I just about had it but before I could take the shot that I was looking for he came toward me really fast and to keep him in the frame I had to adjust things and just take a quick photo. I am really happy with the result.

This could be the one I like the most. I just love the light on the "hairs" on the leaves.

This photo is the definition of springtime - flowers, fresh greenery, and sex. Okay, it is just bug sex, but still....

Finally, it is too bad this photo wasn't taken one step further up. Gabe is reaching for my hand here, and when he got it he said, "You saved me," in his little, three-year-old voice. (I loved it!) That is the pay-off for being a parent.

Tulips on the mound

Thank you for this. I love it. Good land-scaping is sexy!

Just a little tattoo

Yeah, so, um....

I don't really have anything against tattoos. I don't have any, but hey - do what you want, right? But this? Um, this I don't get. Especially the first one.

Tattoos fade, skin loses firmness over time; how in the heck do you deal with a tattoo this big as you age? How do you maintain it? I just like sun tanning too much to ever want to deal with that.

One song that I really like is Forever Young by Alphaville. No - I love it. I want it to come true in my life. I don't really want to 'grow old together' with anybody; I don't want to grow old. I would love to be "forever young" but it is one of those wishes that I don't mind never seeing come true.

me

People see it as an art. Maybe it is like an ice sculpture - you expect it to start melting eventually. Just this you get to wear when it melts.

I am tired

I feel like I just need to sleep all day today!